On self-image and self-love

In a society that profits from your self-doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act. Caroline Caldwell, 2015 | Twitter @Dirt_Worship How many times a week do you throw up after eating?  The normal answer is zero. For me, it can be anywhere from 1 to 10. I’ve been thinking of myself as someone who *usedContinue reading “On self-image and self-love”

How *do* you make friends and influence people?

I can hardly remember a time in my life before I had to live with some kind of mental illness. I have always struggled to make friends – even in nursery school, I remember standing alone looking at groups of friends playing together and wondering how to be a part of those groups. I didn’tContinue reading “How *do* you make friends and influence people?”

Women, Doctors and Pain

There are two main reasons that it took so long for me to get a diagnosis: Pelvic pain in women is very common, and there are lots of things that could cause it. The autoimmune condition at the root of my pain is quite rare. Lichen Planus affects 1 – 2% of the world populationContinue reading “Women, Doctors and Pain”

Spectre of the Big C

Another day, another health scare The last two years have been the most challenging of my life. I faced the breakdown of a long-term relationship, three months of homelessness, moving to a new town and rebuilding my social life from the ground up. By the time Summer 2019 came to an end I was utterlyContinue reading “Spectre of the Big C”

Fat Girl Running

I am – and probably will always be – a bookworm. P.E. was the only class I was ever truly bad at in school. As a pre-teen, I was reasonably active and enjoyed cycling with my dad. On one memorable event, we cycled out to a particular pub in a little village, only to realiseContinue reading “Fat Girl Running”

Timeline of a chronic pain diagnosis

How a UTI turned into a decade of chronic pain My ex had a lot of flaws, but one of the things I will always owe him for was his ability to serve as my memory. During the course of my journey to discover the source of my pain, I was put on a wideContinue reading “Timeline of a chronic pain diagnosis”

The end of my fucking world

A.K.A The painful, messy process of exiting a toxic relationship. The few weeks immediately surrounding the end of my long term relationship were, without a doubt, the most difficult of my life. Even though I instigated it, even though I’m the one who finally walked away, it felt like the bottom had dropped out ofContinue reading “The end of my fucking world”

The Least Subtle Affair

During the period of the least subtle affair ever my then-boyfriend ramped up his emotional manipulation to previously unprecedented levels. He had always been low-key manipulative, but his desperate need to protect his Good Guy™ identity whilst denying the reality of his behaviour made for a particularly unpleasant period of my life. It began asContinue reading “The Least Subtle Affair”

Have you tried relaxing?

“Have you tried just relaxing?” I stare, dumbfounded, at the middle aged man sitting opposite me. He’s a Sex Therapist, and it’s taken me six months to get this appointment. “I – I don’t think that’s the issue-” I stammer, but he interrupts me with a clammy hand on my knee. “You’re young, you’re healthy,Continue reading “Have you tried relaxing?”

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