Sobriety is harder in the dark

The clocks went back last week. On the 25th October, to be precise. So now it’s dark by 5pm, although it isn’t dark in the morning yet. But we’ve had almost four solid weeks of relentless rain, so it hardly gets light during the day at the moment. If I thought sobriety was hard overContinue reading “Sobriety is harder in the dark”

The anxiety of being well

Have you heard the parable of the boiling frog? It’s one of those metaphors that everyone seems to know, but don’t know where they know it from. The parable goes that if you drop a frog into boiling water it will just jump out, but if you drop a frog in cold water and heatContinue reading “The anxiety of being well”

The sticky issue of lubrication

Inspiration for this post comes from two sources: 1) a conversation with a friend who admitted that, despite being a nurse and thus educated about the variability of the human body, was too embarrassed to talk to her long term boyfriend about using lubricant. She was experiencing a little vaginal dryness, but rather than talkContinue reading “The sticky issue of lubrication”

Breaking the stigma of women’s pain

I have a tendency to forget that, by certain standards, I’ve been through quite a lot (1). From the emotional baggage of a toxic relationship that encompassed most of my adult life to date and severely impacted my view of myself, to the relentless struggle of living with multiple chronic pain disorders. That’s one ofContinue reading “Breaking the stigma of women’s pain”

Touch-Starved

When it comes to vaginal dryness, conversations pretty much always centre around menopause. As a woman in my early twenties, I couldn’t find any resources for someone like me. The autoimmune condition that I have (lichen planus) affects mucous membranes. This did have a small impact on my mouth and gut (hello irritable bowel syndrome!)Continue reading “Touch-Starved”

A family legacy of chronic pain

I really loved my Grandad. I’ll use that word here for clarity, but we always called him Pap. When my sister and I were young, we often stayed with Nan and Pap during the week. Pap would get us up in the morning, brush our hair and walked us to school. He got up early,Continue reading “A family legacy of chronic pain”

Women, Doctors and Pain

There are two main reasons that it took so long for me to get a diagnosis: Pelvic pain in women is very common, and there are lots of things that could cause it. The autoimmune condition at the root of my pain is quite rare. Lichen Planus affects 1 – 2% of the world populationContinue reading “Women, Doctors and Pain”

Timeline of a chronic pain diagnosis

How a UTI turned into a decade of chronic pain My ex had a lot of flaws, but one of the things I will always owe him for was his ability to serve as my memory. During the course of my journey to discover the source of my pain, I was put on a wideContinue reading “Timeline of a chronic pain diagnosis”

Have you tried relaxing?

“Have you tried just relaxing?” I stare, dumbfounded, at the middle aged man sitting opposite me. He’s a Sex Therapist, and it’s taken me six months to get this appointment. “I – I don’t think that’s the issue-” I stammer, but he interrupts me with a clammy hand on my knee. “You’re young, you’re healthy,Continue reading “Have you tried relaxing?”

Is sex ‘really’ that important?

If you’ve never had to live with sexual dysfunction, it can be really hard to understand how completely it can affect a person’s life.  It took me years to finally receive CBT for my depression – 5 years in fact. Chronic pain and depression go hand in hand. Something about having to completely reevaluate yourContinue reading “Is sex ‘really’ that important?”

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